Gracie's Story
Imagine losing both parents by the time you are eight years old. For Gracie, that is a stark reality.
It was February 9, 2018, just a normal day for the third-grader. Gracie was staying with her grandparents while her mom was working. Stephanie, Gracie’s mom, routinely checked in with Sharon, her mom and Gracie’s grandmother, after working her shift at a dollar store, but that day, when she was with her friends after work, she suffered a massive stroke. This stroke was a complication of other health issues, and Stephanie suffered a severe brain bleed and died shortly after. This left Gracie suddenly without her mom, and, since her dad had died when she was toddler, she found herself without what most of us take for granted - our parents. Luckily Gracie had her grandparents to rely on. But even with that support, all their lives seemed out of control and the road to normalcy felt out of reach.
It was the call that changed all of their lives.
When Stephanie was at Erlanger on life support, Erlanger child life services gave Sharon a business card for Susan Latta, director of grief counseling with Hospice of Chattanooga. At first Sharon didn’t connect with Susan. Her daughter had died. She didn’t need hospice care.
In the weeks following the funeral, Sharon realized her family needed help. She found herself crying for days on end, and she and her husband put themselves on the back burner to focus on Gracie. As for Gracie, the death of her mom hit her very hard. She was constantly sick at school, and she struggled with PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
“I finally picked up the phone. It was the call that changed our lives,” said Sharon. “Meeting Susan was like seeing a ray of sunshine in a dark tunnel. I shout we were just talking, but Susan was working with us and counseling us.”
Through those talks and other activities, Sharon and Gracie learned that it’s normal not to feel normal. That it’s okay to be angry, sad or worried.
A Special Place for Families
In addition to their private counseling seasons, Sharon and her family were encouraged to attend Hospice’s Healing Hearts Family Night. This free, bi-monthly support group provides a place for children (5 and up), teens, and adults to participate in breakout groups by age. There is also a dinner served to allow the families to spend time together.
Healing Hearts Family Nights allow Gracie to hear the stories of other children who have lost a loved one and make new friends who have gone through similar experiences of loss. She now understands that grief is a lifelong journey and that it’s not a journey she has to take by herself. Sharon also attends the Healing Hearts Family Night and is glad to be able to talk to other caregivers of children who have suffered loss and other parents who have lost children.
Gracie also made new friends and special memories by attending Hospice of Chattanooga’s Kids Grief Camp last year, and she attended again this year. This daylong Saturday camp allows kids to, according to Gracie, “get everything out of your mind when you’re there.” The camp features therapy dogs, games, obstacle courses, and other fun activities. But the bigger role it plays is allowing kids to spend time with other children who understand loss and grief. Gracie said that she enjoyed this year’s camp and that she was happy to continue her journey of “letting out all [her] anger, sadness and emotions.”
Now, fifteen months later, Hospice of Chattanooga has made a huge impact on the lives of Sharon, Gracie, and the rest of their family.
“I never knew Hospice of Chattanooga offered bereavement services to survivors. I thought hospice was only for people who were dying, but it’s so much more. These have been the roughest 18 months of our lives, but we’re in a much better place than we were last year because of the support we got from Hospice of Chattanooga after Stephanie died. It has been a life-changing experience.”
Sharon said that with the help of Hospice of Chattanooga, she and her family are “still walking, putting one foot in front of another.” While they struggled with depression and anxiety following Stephanie’s death, they have learned, according to Sharon, that “it’s okay to be positive.” For example, they are grateful that Stephanie was an organ donor, and a twenty-five year old woman was the recipient of Stephanie’s kidney. Gracie gets comfort from knowing that her mom is in heaven, and because of the support of Healing Hearts Family Nights and the team at Hospice of Chattanooga, she knows that “grief is okay; if you’re sad, it’s okay.”
If you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a loved one and is struggling with their grief, please share with them Gracie’s story and the free available grief support from Hospice of Chattanooga.